Herland Report TV host, Hanne Herland speaks to Dr. Brenda Caldwell about how to deal with tragedy, anger and hurt. “Forgiveness helps you take control over your life,” she states.
“Why is there so much hate? What is the spirit behind all this hatred? Why is there so much dissension in the world? It is so easy to think the worst of somebody and and run the worst in terms of a story of somebody.”
New Herland Report interview: Psychologist Dr. Brenda Caldwell, “Dr. B” is an acclaimed American empowerment speaker and author of recommended books, such as “From Charcoal to Diamond” and “Surgery for the Soul”. Subscribe to the Herland Report YouTube channel here!
New Herland Report interview: Caldwell points out: “Think about what the advent of social media is. It is not like it was so many years ago when only once a day we would get the news. Now we watch the news with the flip of a button on a cell phone. We are instantaneously hearing and constantly bombarded with so many negative stories. These begin to infiltrate our mindset, infiltrate our heart, it shapes our attitude, so we have to be able to take personal responsibility, because at the end of the day, it starts with us individually.”
“If the world is going to get better, if America is going to ever get back to what it used to be, and what it used to be was not perfect, but it certainly was a lot more unity than we see today.”
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New Herland Report interview: In this interview, she recounts the horrifying story of having someone dear to her murdered. The experience sent Dr. Caldwell on a mental journey towards healing from the shock and pain of someone taking the life of someone she loved.
The path to healing came through forgiveness, choosing to release the hurt, the offence, the pain and choosing to no longer hold an offence.
This became a path to her own freedom from bitterness and anger. She realized that people who do such acts are beguiled, “which means to be tricked or deceived into doing something, committing and act that a person thinks is okay to do. They were deceived. Remember how Eve was deceived by the Serpent? Well, that was the first time it is recorded that someone was beguiled. It is said that the Serpent beguiled her.” She realized that in their right mind they would never have done this evil act.
Dr. Caldwell says: “It made sense to me because who, in their right mind, would murder a child? Who, in their right mind, would beat someone? Who, in their right mind, would betray a confidence or a friendship?”
“I always tell my clients; you cannot heal until become real. When you get real, meaning true to yourself, authentic, transparent, then God can heal.”
Dr. Caldwell was years later able to get in touch with the murderer and help him by telling him he was forgiven. His words to her were amazing: “I have been praying for 13 years to be forgiven by somebody in your family. Now I know there must be a God. I have to look at my hands every day that beat a loved one. I wonder how I could have done that to a child.”
“The most powerful thing that we have control over, not what people do but it is how we respond,” she says. “The thing about it is this; when you are saying “I forgive you”, you are not saying you want to have a relationship with that person or even wish him well, but what you are saying is that you refuse to allow him or her to put you in further chains.”
“You don’t have to live a long life to have a powerful impact. So for me, that’s what the gift of forgiveness did for me. It brought purpose out of pain. Only God can bring purpose out of pain, a ministry out of misery, a message out of a mess, a triumphant story out of a tragic story. It’s a beautiful thing what God can do.”
New Herland Report interview: Follow Dr. Brenda Caldwell and her work as she travels the nations here.